I have read an informing article on mistakes that some fathers make while seeking shared custody. While i agree with some, others i feel that its not true and that it should be done. Despite if the court looks down at it.
1. Would you use the affidavit for character assassination?
Depending on the circumstance. I wouldn't sit there and go on and on about how bad the other person is and that their to dangerous for the kids to be around but i would tell the court the major problems of the other person and how that could be dangerous for the kids. That is just stating the obvious. Like has the other party had previous accounts of self harm when they get angry or down. That would be a big factor. Depression and many other things could be significant enough for the court to know so they can make appropriate decisions for the children. So using the affidavit for character assassination i would say no but using it to help the court decide whats in the best interest for the children then i wouldn't hesitate to say it.
2. Acknowledging the good parenting ways of the other parent.
Yes i recon everyone should do this as everyone is different and have there own way of bringing up their children. Not only does it help in court but it also lets both parties decide on a medium way to bring there kids up. This way they are not just pushed from one thing to the next. It also helps the kids more in the long run and benefit's the parents as it wont all fall to one parent to teach the kids to read, write, toilet train and so on. Also the bad traits should be told. This way it can be changed and the children wont develop bad habit's.
3. Not attending post separation parenting courses.
To a parent that is stuck and cant or doesn't know how to teach there kids something i suppose this would help. But being a parent is learning how to be a parent and a good one at that. People can tell you how to do something a million different ways but its your life and your children. The kids and ourselves learn from mistakes. That's whats makes us who we are. If you didn't know how to cook then pick up a book and teach yourself. You could join a class and learn how to do it but at the end of the day your the one that will be in the kitchen cooking. You make a mistake, you learn from it so it wont happen next time. I think that this shouldn't be pushed as there are natural parents out there that don't need to do a parenting course but then there are some that would like that little bit extra help. It should be up to the persons choice and not frowned upon if they choose not to.
4. Not wanting to compromise.
This would solely depend of what the compromise was. Personally i know that when you are in mediation and your not prepared then you can be hit with a lot of "how abouts" and "why don't we try this". It can be very daunting and you could be pushed into something you don't want. This is the worst thing that could happen. You need to go in prepared or at least unarguable from where you stand and what you want. Compromising a little in regards to at the moment living arrangement's and so on would be OK but remember in the long run its not what you want and you will have to keep going back to court to get what you believe is your entitlements. So compromise a little if you have to for the sake of the kids. The question that i ask is why does one party have to compromise while the other doesn't?
This is not just for fathers but for mothers as well. We need to stop and think about what the children need, want and what the deserve. Parties need to stop using children as pawns to get at each other. Many people could say this, it could be plastered all over the news and people just wont stop.
One party will say nasty things about the other party to the children and then they will say it back to the other party and so forth. Its ridiculous and it doesn't help the problem it only makes it bigger. But for people out there doing that, stop for two seconds and think, do the children need to be taught this?
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