Settle a Child Custody Case Outside of Court

Child custody cases can get ugly. When a married couple seeks divorce, children can sometimes be at the root of the issue. Custody issues can cause each parent to use the children as a pawn to get what he or she wants. Sometimes, each parent wants full custody of their child, which causes a long, extended battle in the courtroom. But this doesn't always have to be the case. There are ways to settle your child custody case outside of the courthouse, and to work amicably between you and your soon-to-be former spouse.

• Write your spouse a settlement letter near the beginning of your divorce case. Lay out what you feel is important in regards to the children. Write the settlement letter in a friendly, informative and caring tone, and explain your reasons for wanting the custody arrangement that you are seeking (joint? sole?).
• Use modern day technologies to talk out custody issues, utilizing email and phone text messages which can be documented for court. It is important to document everything as much as possible--oral agreements will not hold up in court. However, if you conduct civil discussions regarding child custody through email, you will be able to put thought and consideration into what you are requesting. In addition, you will also have documented proof of any agreements your spouse decides he or she is willing to work with you on. This will prove helpful if you and your spouse still end up in the courtroom arguing over custody, because you will have documented proof as to what he or she agreed on. This will help you solidify what you were both willing to work out in regards to the child.
• Negotiate with a mediator. Instead of taking your case to court where you may feel highly intimidated and stressed, you can always request mediation with your spouse in regards to your child custody case. Mediators are third-party advocates that sit with parents and helps them determine what is in the best interests of the children.
• Mediating and negotiating your child custody case, along with child support, outside the courtroom is faster and less costly than going through the courts.

Court Ruling Denies Father for Rights and Forces Child into Adoption??? so unfair!!!

Imagine--you're seventeen, hold down a part-time job, and are successful in school.  You're on the school's football team, baseball team, and have no criminal history or history of drug use or alcohol use.  Your girlfriend gets pregnant, tells you you're the father, and you prepare accordingly to have the child raised and cared for in your home by your mother while you're in school.  The crib is assembled and the nursery is complete, a whole separate room in your parents' home for your new arrival.

Delivery day comes.  The mother of your child refuses you as the father and puts the child up for adoption.

Like most dads you would go through the courts to fight for the rights to be the parent to your child--even if your girlfriend or ex feels the child should be put in adoptive care.

In a recent court ruling in Bakersfield, California, a 17-year-old father, Christian Diaz, was denied parental rights to his own child, forcing the baby into adoptive care.  A willing father was denied the chance to raise his child, just because the child's mother made a decision on her own, left his name off of the birth certificate, and persuaded hospital authorities that he wasn't the father and to keep him away from the child.

Father's rights are necessary.  Cases like this, where a fit and willing father is stepping up to the plate to be a dad, remind us that there is still a long road ahead of us.  Being with our children and raising them is a right we have, and until the courts can see this, we will continue to fight for our rights!

This is just wrong and he should have custody of his child!!! Just how can a court do this?

Comments and stories from fathers in the same situation.

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